Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
