Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
