Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
your room smells of hookers.
And success
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Randomize
