I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
