It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
