Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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