I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
