Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
