Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
