If i come over, it means nothing
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
