i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
