The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
