I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Randomize
