shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I need to calm my uterus...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
