i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
