no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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