Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
