I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
