I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
