break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
