I'm really into asian looking animals
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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