would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
