You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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