Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My hand turned me down
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Randomize
