Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
