Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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