If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Watching her eat just hurts me
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
