She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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