dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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