Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
