She's JV to your varsity
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
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