The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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