Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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