That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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