So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
