So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
