shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
