yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
