if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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