I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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