New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Congratulations! We have a period
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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