What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
