Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
