How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
