If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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