im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
