you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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