it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
