can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
