theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
