She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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