This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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