Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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