Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
